Following my lesson this morning (How to Explore the World #5), and having chosen kindness as my daily attribute, this is how I found my day:
I tried to be mindfully kind in different ways, from my interactions with people, to the way I thought. I suspect that the universe had been reading my blog, because I was tested on this all day. Not by the people around me - far from it - but from the ongoing commentary in my brain. It turns out I have many more snarky, sarcastic thoughts cropping up in my private head space than is ideal. I'm not even sure if there were more of these today than on any other day, or that I was merely more aware of them. But here's the interesting thing: they were almost all about myself. A little snide voice in my head (or even out loud at times) criticising the way I was working, or how slow my progress was, or berating myself whenever I took a break from my computer. It occurred to me that if I thought this way about anyone else it would utterly corrode my insides with bitterness towards them.
So my next goal may seem to be contrary to the purpose of this lesson, and entirely conceited and self-serving, but that is not my intention, and I hope it doesn't appear that way. I'm going to be kind to myself. Not as a priority, or in replacement of kindness to others - they are not mutually exclusive, after all - but I'm just going to give myself a break once in a while.
I tried to be mindfully kind in different ways, from my interactions with people, to the way I thought. I suspect that the universe had been reading my blog, because I was tested on this all day. Not by the people around me - far from it - but from the ongoing commentary in my brain. It turns out I have many more snarky, sarcastic thoughts cropping up in my private head space than is ideal. I'm not even sure if there were more of these today than on any other day, or that I was merely more aware of them. But here's the interesting thing: they were almost all about myself. A little snide voice in my head (or even out loud at times) criticising the way I was working, or how slow my progress was, or berating myself whenever I took a break from my computer. It occurred to me that if I thought this way about anyone else it would utterly corrode my insides with bitterness towards them.
So my next goal may seem to be contrary to the purpose of this lesson, and entirely conceited and self-serving, but that is not my intention, and I hope it doesn't appear that way. I'm going to be kind to myself. Not as a priority, or in replacement of kindness to others - they are not mutually exclusive, after all - but I'm just going to give myself a break once in a while.
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