How Not to Train for a Marathon

Two days to go until the Dublin City Marathon 2010... I think I am ready. I haven't really trained for the race-watching itself; I didn't manage to watch a practice race from the sidelines. However, I have taken certain preventative measures to encourage successful avoidance of marathon undertaking, which has shaped a full week of How Not to Train for a Marathon.

• Old, squishy, worn running shoes
• Regular self-dehydration
• The opposite of carb-loading (carbation starvation?)
• A sleepless night five days before, plus more then a few nights cut short at both ends
• A relatively high intake of wine and popcorn
• The busiest, most stressful, and productive week of the year at work
• High heels every day for two weeks
• 20 miles in the final week, including a handy 6 or 8 miles the day before

Apart from the night before the marathon, where I will eat something runner-unfriendly and sample Dublin's finest Guinness, I don't feel I could do much more to not run. I am confident of getting through the day without spontaneously racing. Non-race-report to follow.

Oh, and best of luck to runners and non-runners! Dig deep, and all that jazz.

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